Understanding Relaxation
Relaxation refers to intentional practices that help the body shift out of a heightened stress response and into a calmer, more regulated state.
Relaxation is not about forcing yourself to calm down or eliminating stress entirely. Instead, it involves using simple techniques — such as breathing exercises, muscle release, or guided imagery — to help your body settle, your thoughts slow, and your emotions feel more manageable.
These strategies work by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which supports rest, recovery, and a sense of steadiness. Over time, practicing relaxation can improve sleep, reduce muscle tension, support emotional regulation, and make stressful moments easier to navigate.
Relaxation skills are most effective when practiced regularly, even for short periods, and can be used on their own or alongside therapy to support your overall well‑being.
While mindfulness focuses on bringing awareness to the present moment, relaxation techniques focus on helping the body release tension and activate its natural calming response.
Why Relaxation Strategies Help:
When our brain interprets situations as “a threat” or something it needs to respond to, it activates the sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is our body’s stress or “fight-flight-freeze” response which is responsible for springing into action when needed. The “fight-flight-freeze” response creates changes throughout the body, including a faster heart rate, quicker breathing, muscle tension, increased alertness, and other physical reactions designed to help you respond to danger.
Imagine you're driving and another car suddenly swerves into your lane. Your body reacts instantly. Your heart rate increases, your muscles tense, and your attention becomes focused on avoiding the danger. In that moment, your sympathetic nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do: helping you respond quickly to a perceived threat.
While this stress response is helpful during genuine emergencies, our bodies can sometimes react in similar ways to everyday stressors such as work deadlines, conflict, financial worries, or overwhelming schedules. This makes it feel like our stress response is stuck in the “on position.” Relaxation strategies help activate the body's calming system, the parasympathetic nervous system, allowing us to recover and return to a more balanced state.
Relaxation exercises are designed to activate the body’s natural calming system. As your body begins to relax, many of the physical effects associated with the stress response begin to decrease. So, if we use slow, deep breathing, we’re telling that stress response we are safe and it’s okay to switch to the “off position.”
The best relaxation strategy is the one that you will actually use. Consider experimenting with different approaches to discover which techniques feel most effective for you.
Relaxation Exercises to Try
The good news is that relaxation skills are simple, learnable, and often take only a few minutes to practice. The exercises below can help you begin activating your body’s natural relaxation response.
1. Diaphragmatic Breathing
Deep diaphragmatic breathing is a gentle technique that helps calm the body and mind. It works by using the diaphragm — the large muscle beneath your lungs — to help you breathe more fully and efficiently.
How To:
- Get Comfortable - Sit in a chair with your feet on the floor or lie on your back with your knees bent. Let your shoulders relax.
- Place Your Hands - Put one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, just below your rib cage. This helps you feel your breath move.
- Breathe In Slowly - Take a slow breath in through your nose. Try to let the air fill your belly — you should feel the hand on your belly rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
- Pause for a Moment - Hold the breath gently for 1–2 seconds if that feels comfortable.
- Breathe Out Fully - Slowly exhale through your mouth. Let your belly fall as the air leaves your lungs.
Repeat for 1–2 minutes. If your mind wanders or your breathing doesn’t feel natural at first, that’s okay. Like any new skill, diaphragmatic breathing becomes easier with practice.
2. Guided Imagery
Guided imagery is a relaxation technique that uses mental visualization to help create a sense of calm, safety, or grounding. By imagining a peaceful place, soothing scenario, or supportive experience, you engage the mind in a way that can reduce stress and ease physical tension. It’s a gentle practice that helps shift your focus away from distress and toward sensations that feel steady and comforting.
The goal of guided imagery is to engage your senses in order to engage your body’s parasympathetic nervous system. Try to imagine a place where you feel calm. There is no “right” place to imagine. Some people choose a beach, forest, mountain setting, favorite room, or another location that feels safe and comfortable. What do you see, feel, hear, and smell?
Here is a brief example:
Imagine yourself standing on a quiet beach. The sand is warm beneath your feet, and the steady rhythm of the waves moves in and out along the shoreline. As you breathe, picture the ocean stretching out in front of you — calm, wide, and steady — and let its gentle movement guide your own sense of ease.
With each inhale of the sweet salt-air, imagine the cool ocean air filling your lungs. With each exhale, picture the waves carrying away tension, leaving you a little more grounded, present, and supported.
Guided Imagery by Barbara Fordyce, PhD
Dr. Barbara Fordyce, founder of Barbara Fordyce & Associates, has spent decades helping individuals, healthcare organizations, schools, and community groups better understand psychology, stress management, and wellness. In addition to her clinical work, she has developed several guided imagery recordings designed to promote relaxation, reduce stress, and support overall wellbeing.
If you’d like to experience a guided imagery exercise led by Dr. Fordyce, you can listen to the recording below:
Listen to Dr. Fordyce's Guided Imagery Exercise
3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation helps you notice and release tension in the body at a pace that feels comfortable. You are always in control - you can skip any area, shorten the exercise, or pause at any time. Below is a shortened version of progressive muscle relaxation. You may choose to move through every muscle group or focus only on the areas where you tend to carry tension.
To Begin:
- Choose a posture that feels safe and supported. You can sit or lie down. Let your body settle in whatever way feels most comfortable.
- Take a slow breath in, and let it out naturally. If focusing on the breath feels uncomfortable, you can instead notice a point of contact — your feet on the floor, your back against the chair, or your hands resting on your lap.
- Bring your attention to your forehead. Gently lift your eyebrows for a few seconds, then release. Notice any shift in sensation — warmth, tingling, or simply the feeling of letting go.
- Move to your eyes and cheeks. Softly squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, then relax.
- Shift to your jaw. Gently tighten your jaw for a few seconds, then let it soften. Notice whatever is present — comfort, tension, or even nothing at all.
- Bring awareness to your neck. If it feels safe, gently draw your chin toward your chest for a moment, then release.
- Move to your shoulders. Lift them slightly toward your ears, hold for a moment, and let them drop. Notice any heaviness or ease that follows.
- Bring attention to your chest. Take a slow breath in, and as you exhale, allow the muscles to soften without forcing anything.
- Shift to your upper back. Gently pull your shoulder blades together for a few seconds, then release. If this area feels uncomfortable, return to your breath or another grounding point.
- Move your awareness to your upper arms. Gently tighten your biceps for a few seconds, then release.
- Shift to your forearms. Tense them lightly, hold, and let go.
- Now your hands. Make a soft fist — not tight, just enough to feel the muscles engage. Hold briefly, then let your fingers relax.
- Bring awareness to your stomach area. Gently tighten your abdominal muscles for a few seconds, then release.
- Move your attention to your hips and glutes. Gently squeeze these muscles for a few seconds, then release. Notice any shift in comfort or grounding.
- Bring awareness to your thighs. Gently tighten the muscles, hold briefly, and let go.
- Shift to your calves. Tense them lightly for a few seconds, then release.
- Finally, bring attention to your feet. Gently press your toes downward or tighten the muscles in your feet for a few seconds. Release and notice whatever is present — warmth, tingling, or simply the feeling of letting go.
- Take one slow breath in and out. Notice one part of your body that feels even slightly more relaxed or grounded. If nothing feels different, that’s okay — the goal is gentle awareness, not perfection.
When you’re ready, bring your attention back to the room. Notice the temperature, the sounds around you, or the feeling of the surface supporting you.
You can return to this practice anytime, adjusting it to what feels safe and supportive for your body.
Tips for Making These Practices Work for You
- Start small — even one minute counts
- Practice at the same time each day
- Pair a skill with a routine (morning coffee, bedtime, after work)
- Notice what works best for your body and mind
- Use these tools between therapy sessions to support your progress
When to Use These Strategies
Relaxation techniques can be helpful anytime your mind or body feels stuck in a state of stress or heightened alertness. Many people seek out relaxation exercises when they feel overwhelmed, have trouble calming down, or feel like they are stuck in "fight-or-flight" mode. These skills can be especially helpful:
- During periods of high stress
- Before a stressful event, such as a presentation, difficult conversation, medical appointment, or test
- When feeling overwhelmed or emotionally flooded
- When experiencing anxiety symptoms or excessive worry
- When your mind feels restless and you can't relax
- When having difficulty concentrating or refocusing
- When carrying physical tension in your body
- When trying to fall asleep or return to sleep
- When you need a brief reset during the day
- After a stressful experience to help your body recover and regain balance
Finding What Works for You:
Different relaxation strategies work for different people. Some individuals prefer breathing techniques, while others respond best to muscle relaxation, guided imagery, movement, or mindfulness exercises. Give yourself permission to experiment and discover which approaches feel most helpful for your body and mind. In addition, relaxation is a skill that develops over time. If a particular strategy doesn’t feel effective right away, don’t be discouraged. With practice and patience, many people find that these techniques become more natural and more beneficial. If you’re unsure which strategies fit your needs, your clinician can help you choose and practice them during sessions.
Continue the Conversation
If you’d like to learn additional techniques or explore how relaxation techniques can support your treatment goals, discuss them with your clinician at your next appointment. If you’re a new client, call or use the form below to contact our office to start your therapy journey.